Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
