I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
