i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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