We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
