Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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