I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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