Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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