It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
