a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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