I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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