i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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