I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
