Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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