no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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