my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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