We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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