I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
