He is such a slut. More and more my type.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
