I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
