I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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