margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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