I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
