White coat. Heels.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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