she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
