just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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