You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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