Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Did we literally take a cab across the street
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
