im gay
i know
yea but for you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i need some magic done to my vagina
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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