Non-Jews are for practice
too bad you live with your parents still
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
