I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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