I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
