I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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