You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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