she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
