Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
