I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
