I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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