you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
