idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
