just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
