I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
