oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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