You're completely useless in the revolution.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
