Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
