I wish I could punch you in the face.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
