i think my tv is drunk
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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