It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
