I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
