Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
