you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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