I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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