She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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